i was beefing with fortnitedrainer (sofia) this morning. she called me out for talking shit about her. i don't really care, honestly. nobody likes her as much as they say they do. either way, i like her more now than i did then. i hung out with her, helena, and andrew today, too. honestly, it was fun. i ate raising canes for the first time (i didn't really like the chicken, but the fries were good) and we sat around listening to music after. it was fun. andrew even gave me a shirt. i also tried a vape today. i didn't like them. vapes are so fucking lame. if you're going to consume nicotine, just smoke at that point.
i thought about oliver today. i think about him every day, frankly. i feel like a fucking dog waiting by the door for its owner to come back. i honestly wonder if he thinks about me half as much as i think about him. i'm ashamed to say it, but i miss him. i thought i was going to marry him, for god's sake. he was the first guy to ever show me real affection. he told me he jerked off to a picture of nothing but my face. i wish i'd done better. i wish i could turn back time and tell myself how to do right by him. i am such a fucking idiot.